Richard Thorburn

Kia ora, 

My name’s Richard, I was born in Scotland and lived there until I met my New Zealand Wife in 2009. We moved back to Aotearoa in 2012, and we now have 2 kids, a mortgage, and I'm a fully-fledged New Zealand citizen.

Mental health first came into my life when I was too immature to understand it or deal with it correctly. My Mum has battled depression for more than  25 years now, and it’s taken me all of those years to get to grips with it and understand it more.  In recent times I; 've lost 3 family members to mental health illnesses and addiction. 

I suffered for years from what I guess would be called anxiety issues, and imposter syndrome. All sharply brought into frightening focus when I became a Dad. I reached a turning point on December 30th 2021. I was desperately unhappy, unfit, overweight, drinking far too much and generally just a pain to be around. My best friend left Wellington at 4 am and drove through the early hours to come to visit me, and dragged my sorry arse up Mount Maunganui. It was there, at my favorite spot in New Zealand that I knew something had to change. I set myself small health goals, started eating healthier, got myself off alcohol and caffeine for a while,  bought an exercise bike, and most importantly, used EAP to get counselling to help me unload and process.  what I was dealing with. I’m far from the finished article, but like many, I know what an uphill battle any kind of recovery can be. I understand the importance of not comparing yourself to others. Our struggles are all valuable and relative. Perspective is a great thing, but just because someone is always worse off, it shouldn’t belittle your situation. Our family still practices gratitude every day at meal times, and it keeps us grounded. My wife is eternally patient with me, and I am so grateful for that. 

After a chance meeting with Craig through work, I realised how his journey mirrored my own in so many ways, and I just knew at some point I’d want to step up and do my bit for Mates matter NZ. I want to be there for my mates now, and the mates I’ve yet to meet. 

I am humbled and honored to be part of the vitally important work Mates Matter does.

Keep putting one foot in front of the other, because, as my Grandad said :

“Even if you fall flat on your face, at least you're moving forward”